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Above all: our mindset.
We know what to do, which is eat less and move more.
We know we need to hit the weights, and we know we need to be in a calorie deficit.
But why don’t we do it?
That’s where all sorts of limiting, false beliefs about ourselves and the sacrifices required to see results get in the way.
A close second is false advertising. There are cases where we are mislead by those coaches more interested in taking the money out of our pockets than actually helping us.
Not knowing better, we waste time, energy and money implementing weight loss and muscle growth strategies that simply don’t work.
In this article, I’ll go over the most common limiting beliefs that can make this fitness thing so unnecessarily damn hard. In next week’s, I’ll go over the most common false advertising.
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False, Limiting Beliefs
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There are two main false, limiting beliefs that get in the way of our success:
- “I suck.”
- “It’s too damn hard.”
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It’s been a cornerstone of modern day Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and a vein that runs through more than 3000 years of human theology and philosophy, past Christ, Socrates and the Buddha that our lives are controlled not by what happens to us, but rather our beliefs about what has happened and what we take it to mean to us.
For example: often times we’ll start a new workout or diet routine and we’ll have the thought cross our mind.
“Damn. Not sure if I can do this. I’ve always been the fat guy/girl/kid. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. I knew this wouldn’t work.”
Doubt, we’ll call it. Well, it’s pretty obvious that the above is NOT going to help us, is it?
It’s also, upon deeper examination, not true that we have ALWAYS been the fat kid, as if you can judge and label a human being in all their complexity based on their weight over the past 20 years.
That’s all we are, the number on the scale?
Further, how do you KNOW it’s not going to work? You don’t. We live in a world of probabilities rather than certainties, and unless you can predict the future (in which case tell me which lottery numbers I should pick) to say definitively that this won’t work is nothing but illogical, silly and self-damning.
What if instead we said to ourselves: “although I have been fat for a long time, it does not follow that I will always be fat nor does it follow that because I have been and am fat that I am a bad person or that I suck. The number on the scale has nothing to do with me as a human being. I don’t like being overweight, so I will do something to change it, remembering to accept myself along the way so I don’t make things harder for myself by beating myself up for being a human.”
That’s a much more empowering, logical and true to facts way of thinking about ourselves.
Here’s another false belief: “it’s too damn hard.”
What do we mean by that?
Do we mean it’s impossible to do? Clearly not – how many people heavier than us, without a leg, under busier schedules, with more responsibilities have been able to do it?
That we* can’t do it? Well, that’s not true either. You hit the gym last week and although it did suck, you were perhaps sleep-deprived, in a crappy mood, and fairly hungry you still did it right?
“But it’s so hard!”
Raising a child is hard, going to work is hard, caring for a sick one is hard, paying our bills is hard, going to school is hard, caring for our pets is hard – something being hard is not an excuse for not doing something.
Now does that mean you have to do it? No. But there will be consequences, the same way if you didn’t show up to work or decided to stop paying your bills. Likewise if you don’t work out.
A more true to the facts, self empowering and logical belief is: “working out and eating healthier can be difficult at times, but I can do it and it is worth it to me so I will do my best. When I fall off track, as an imperfect human being does, I will just cut my losses and get back to it.”
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Why Mindset is So Key
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You can have the worlds best training program. The worlds best coach. The world best at-home-chef preparing you the worlds tastiest, healthiest meals….
But if you get in your own way?
We can be our own worst memories. Which is why it is crucial for us to learn to manage the self talk that goes on in between our ears so that we avoid shooting ourselves in the foot.
When you catch yourself thinking some BS, ask yourself:
- Is it true, based on facts?
- Is it helpful?
- Does it make any sense?
Then, construct and tell yourself something that is true, that does make sense, and that will help you achieve your goals.
At Haven, much of our work with clients is programming their workouts and dialing in their nutritional and lifestyle habits, but it’s also teaching them how to speak to themselves so that they can live healthier, happier lives. That’s what this fitness thing is truly about, anyways.
If you would like our help transforming your fitness and your self-talk, give us a call at 9083410232 and let’s schedule a free No Sweat Intro Consultstion where we see which one of our transformation programs is best for you!
Coach B.
P.S. “It is not events that disturb the minds of men, but the view they take of them.” – Epictetus
